I Will Come Back to You

If you have talked to me in the last couple of weeks you already know that I have been struggling with the kids being back to school. I also realize that most of you think I am insane and I am OK with that. I am used to Reagan being gone all day. Although I hate that I only get so few hours with her and when she has something in the evening it's even less. However, this year Rebecca also started going all day. We've been back for a few weeks and yet everyday at lunch time I get a little twinge of sadness because I know she is not coming home to eat with us. The biggest change has been taking Ryan to preschool. That was my hardest day yet. Let's just say it was a very quick goodbye as I could not hold the tears back a second longer. Thankfully my dear friend Tiphanie was there to the rescue and kept me busy that first morning. So here I am in a new phase of life. I remember counting the days until I would have some time alone and now I look back and see just how fast it goes. So here I sit having zero idea what to do with myself. Well I have some idea, it's called "clean your house" but really who wants to do that when they are trying to redefine normal. Anyway, fast forward to today. At the front of Ryan's school is a fenced in playground. Nothing special but he always wants to stop in and play. So today we went in and played for a while. There is one toy that has a steering wheel some slides and stairs. Ryan dubbed it his school bus. While he was waiting to take his turn driving he sat on the "school bus." Then he looked at me and said, "Mommy I am going to go to school now, but don't worry when I am done I will come back to you." Those words have been in my heart and on my mind all day long. The truth of the matter is that if I am doing my job right as they go experience life and independence they will come back to me. They will come back for support, a hand to help them up with they fall and mess up, encouragement and most of all a soft place to land. If I am doing my job right then my kids will know like the song says that I am in fact the greatest fan of their lives. At the end of the day I am so grateful that it's only elementary and preschool and not college or marriage that I am sending them away to go and do. It means that I still have time to get the most out of every day and every moment. It means that I still have time to get it right, to build a relationship with my children so when they are grown they will indeed come back to me. Here are some pictures from every one's first day of school. Fourth grade for Reagan, first grade for Rebecca and preschool for Ryan.