Am I Worth It?

I have a dilemma. This summer is the Close To My Heart convention and I really want to go. I will get to see Nona whom I haven't seen in a couple of years, spend time with Tiphanie and attend classes and have a great weekend. So what's the dilemma? It's expensive. I know I can save the money but once I do it's this big chunk of change and there are so many things to "need" instead of want. I was surprised that the real issue is do I think I am worth the money it will take to go? Much like my dear husband my paychecks get eaten up by bills and needs for everyone but me. So all this pocket money I was supposed to have has not quite materialized like I had hoped. It has been awesome as Christmas, birthday's and a bunch of other things have been paid for with my little pay check. God has been good and it has stretched far. So if I have done all this for nearly a year for everyone else, why do I feel guilty spending it on myself?? Maybe it's time I blaze new trails for Mom's like me that feel like everyone else in the family is worth great things but us. In my head it really doesn't come out as such a pity party and that's not what I am trying to convey but it is there in the back of my head. Otherwise there is zero reason for me not to be excited about going. No reason I should second guess it because it will be paid for in cash. The other cool thing is I, unlike others can drive to it. So here is what I am going to do. I am going to keep this New Year's Resolution and I am going to go. I am going to take time for myself in one giant chunk and do something that is just for me and all about what I want to do. It may be selfish it may not but I will be sure to let you know how it all works out!! Secondly I will purpose in my head that I will not allow myself to feel anything but excited. As each dollar is saved I will choose to be proud of myself and excited that I have this opportunity. Plus it will give me good practice saving because Ron is turning 40 in 2011 and as we all know it will be here before we know it! I am NEVER going to be able to quit my job...lol