Did I Teach You That?

It has happened several times now and event followed by floods of tears. Reagan is upset because there was a project to do but she didn't get to participate because the other kids were in the way. Rebecca wants to try something new, but doesn't get a turn because she didn't speak up. Kids say or do things to them and they don't say a word. How did they get like this? My girls are afraid to stand up for themselves and seriously lacking assertiveness. I have always taught them to watch out for those smaller than them, be polite, take turns, don't be selfish, be kind, be careful what you say so you don't hurt another persons feelings. However, some of the message got lost in translation because they are becoming doormats for other children who don't care about their feelings or care if everyone gets a turn. I can honestly say that at this point I have no idea how to teach them the difference between being a nice person and standing up for themselves to be sure they are heard too. I know where it starts, but I didn't think it was obvious. I am a people pleaser. Worried about hurting someone Else's feelings or how they will react at my own expense. My children have caught on to that and I must say it's not what I want for their lives. It's so hard to walk this line between being courteous and being taken advantage of. Especially in this day and age. I don't think half of us realize what our children have to deal with at school. Kids are mean and rude and disrespectful and if you have any concern for those things at all, your young child is swimming up stream against all this nastiness coming their way. I am amazed at how much they have to deal with daily and yet still have to grow and learn what is right when all around them others do whatever they feel like. I am learning to stand up for myself because if I don't show them the proper way to be confident then they will never learn and have the same fate as I. I have never been more aware than I am now of how much we need to pray for our children. They face way more than we ever did and it is scary out there. However, I do believe that our kids can be light in this dark world but they can't do it alone. I get now, more than ever how I need to be the advocate for my kids, cover them in prayer and strengthen them as they face their day. The time is gone for my own selfish behavior and the day has dawned for me to step up and be the woman that my kids can look to for encouragement, strength, grace and courage. Most of all to be those loving arms that hug away a day of mean kids, contradicting truth and a battle that I can only imagine that they face.