Living in the Present

I read a book recently and the question was posed, "Where do you live? Do you live in the past unable to let go of hurt and pain, or reliving when times were "good?" or do you live in the future worrying about what is to come and what will be? Or do you live in the present enjoying each moment as it comes?" As I thought about this question I realized that I was living in the future but that future was fear based and defined by my past. Let me explain. Based on certain relationships in my life, I was living my present trying to make sure I didn't mess up my future. My relationships with my children have always been a big one. I am always hoping that I don't mess up so much that in the future, to them, I will become an obligation instead of a desire to be with. The hard part of living like that is that we focus so much on what we don't want, that that's exactly what we tend to become. What our eyes focus on begins to consume us. With much prayer and a complete breakthrough, I believe that I have begun to live in the present. I still plan for the future but I don't stress over it. I still look to the past, but as a visit and to see lessons learned, not to live. The joy I have discovered is being able to step back in a present moment and soak it all in. To really experience each emotion and capture the memory in my mind is beyond words. Sunday morning was one of those times. We had just woken up and the kids were piled in our room, laughing and talking. It was calm and not rushed. Then we went downstairs and had a nice breakfast. We topped off the morning by going to church together. That is what a Sunday, in my mind, is supposed to look like. To others it was a nothing special kind of day, but to me it was a glimpse of exactly what I have always wanted for my family. To just enjoy each other and build a lifetime of great moments. The future is built on what I do now, not on imagined fears but present reality. I'm just thankful that I figured it out now, when I hopefully have lots of time, to really live in the present and take in a great life comprised of everyday moments.