Evening Alone

I found this in my drafts and thought I would share it...I think it is from september or october!


Some how last night all the planets alligend and for the first time in 13 years I was in my own home all alone. Ron and Ryan were camping with the cub scouts, two life saving friends each took one of the girls so I could go to school and decided to just have them stay the night. So I came home from school to an empty house and woke up to the same thing. What an amazing break! I am weirdly refreshed even though it was just a few hours. However, because I am me, I did some reflection.

Last night I walked through the house and saw a mess. Evidence that children live here and a crazy week had been accomplished. This morning as I get ready to pick up my kids (2 of them anyway) I stood in the upstairs hall, which gives me a small view into each bedroom. I am overwhelmed with thankfulness as I see the preteen room filled with items that suggest someone is growing up and starting to behave that way. In the other girl's bedroom, I see someone who is trying very hard to learn to juggle all the responsibilites of life including keeping her room up. Little piles of "treasures" here and there and all things important to a 9 year old. As I glanced into Ryan's room I see his bow an arrow set on the floor and a few super hero masks peaking out of the closet and I realize how quickly that phase will pass. Just looking at these things filled me with happiness though. Joy that my home is typically filled with laughter and even bickering filled me up, as I am blessed with the sounds of children in my home. God has certainly blessed my life and as I took inventory, I realize all too soon the halls and rooms will be perfectly clean and silent. The kids will grow and move on to their own lives and it will just be us. As wonderful as that phase of life will be with my best friend, I'm glad it's not here yet.

What is it about the night?

I studied for about 12 hours today, but I wanted to get this written before I forgot so hopefully it will turn out right.

Ron made a comment a few weeks back about how usually when someone talks about the night time it is in a negative way. Things are scary at night or in movies bad things happen in the dark. Usually our minds head right to the negative when it comes to anything about the night. However, he pointed out, there is one exception...the night Christ was born...Christmas night. When we hear that we think of the songs like "Silent Night" which has words like "holy, calm, and even bright" in it. When we think about that night we think about joy and anticipation. Quite a contrast from the other ideas about the night!

Well because I am me, I had to let that thought marinade in my head for a few days as it was surprising deep as my husband put it! As I pondered this thought, I began to realize that maybe there was a bigger meaning than just a star would shine brightest if Jesus was born at night. What if it was to show us that good things can happen in the night? That in the darkest times of our lives, if we will have the anticipation that Jesus is going to show up in our "night" and bring something new to us, maybe the night wouldn't be so bad. Maybe He wanted us to know that our perspective should not be one of dread when we walk through dark times, but of hope and excitement and anticipation of the promise that He gives that He will come to us in that place and never leave.

I read a portion of a bible verse today and it said something like..."He quiets me with His love." In this season of wrapping up a term in school, with Christmas right on its heels, it did me some good to rest a minute in His love and let my soul become quiet for even just a minute. In our "night" experiences God so wants to come and not only quiet us with His love, but to turn that night into something unforgettable, life changing and eternal! Much like He did on the night He was born!! Christmas is fast approaching, my hope is that we all stop and really remember why we celebrate for truly that night began the greatest love story ever written and I am so thankful to be apart of it!

I Have Never...

I Have Never...this was the name of the game I played today. Inside of a bag on folded sheets of paper were several items written. For an example, "I have never posted on facebook", the card might read. If you HAVE posted on facebook you take and M&M and if you have not, then you take nothing. The person at the end of the game with the most M&M's wins.

This got me thinking today. If I look back on my life and play this game, how big would my pile of M&M's be? I certainly want to make sure that I am doing enough things in life that when the end comes I have a whole pile of candy and litany of stories to share with my grandchildren and hopefully great-grandchildren about my adventures. I want to make sure that fear or the business of life doesn't always crowd out adventure and exploring this great world God has created.

Although I feel overwhelmed with school right now, I think this New Year's Eve I will be making plans for the next year's adventures. I want my kids to learn to live a life that is full of adventure, even if it is just in the backyard or across town. I know that if we don't plan for it, it will never happen.

I Have Never...will that be the end of the statement of your life, or will you also have a huge pile of M&M's and a great book of stories to share?

That is really heavy!

Today in my patient skills lab we learned how to properly move patients from the bed to a wheel chair and "log roll" them in a bed. I got to be the class example of the patient. Thank goodness it is a small class. So I'm laying on the bed while the teacher gives another student instructions. Let's just say when she finally helped me off the bed into a standing position we were really, really close to each other...uncomfortably close. I felt like I should have been taken out for drinks or something first. Anyway, I finally made it to the wheel chair and was miraculously healed so I didn't have to be moved back into the bed! When it was my turn to move the next girl, I was surprised at how natural it felt to explain what I was doing and how I was going to do it. The woman actually asked me if i had done this type of work before...not unless you count dragging Ryan's heavy arse to the bathroom at night! Anyway, I have a brand new appreciation for my mother-in-law and sister-in-law for the kind of work they do day in and day out. I have no idea how they even have a back left! Even the smallest girl in the class, healthy and able to help move herself around was incredibly heavy at the angle at which you need to work and lift. So this post is my shout out to Mom and Jean for being freaking superheroes every time they go to work...you guys are AMAZING!!

Update

I thought I would give a quick update on school. I am currently getting A's in two of three classes. My PE class has not had anything graded yet so I guess the butt-kicking I get in the pool every week is all I have to go on at this point. I have to say, last week she worked us so hard that on Saturday I woke up and I was sore from the base of my skull to the tops of my feet. I am getting pretty good at taking blood pressure. I also can take your temperature (that is massive skill right there) and check your pulse and respiration. I have learned the bones of the body and am trying not to forget them all as I now fill my brain with muscles. I must  tell you as we are learning about muscles and the different tissues, I gagged a bit when I was cutting up some raw chicken. My meat eating days may be over for a bit, because being able to identify it's parts really kills it. gross.

My PE class has a wellness portion to it. That basically means that health is more than physical it's emotional, social, spiritual and even environmental. She had us pick three behaviors we would like to change this term. We are supposed to start journals as well. Turns out my water class is more than just killing myself in the pool. It's good though and if I am going to spend the time and money on it, I might as well get all I can from the class. My first behavior change was my prayer life. I need to pray more, or at least more specifically and listen more. It is not what I want it to be and so I will be working on that. Secondly, I need to take stock of my days and see where I am wasting time. Time that I can take to do stuff with the kids or take care of other things. Sometimes I feel like if I can't play for an hour, I shouldn't play at all. However, the other day when I told Ry we had 15 minutes to play catch and I set the timer...we had the best 15 minutes we have had in a while. So I want to create more moments like that. Lastly, is a physical one. I want to start moving in intentional exercise everyday and take off some of this weight once and for all. I watched this thing on youtube call 23 and a half hours. You should check it out, it's really good. Anyway it inspired me to make time to walk everyday. Hopefully I will start to reap the benefits of these decisions. The Bible says if we seek first the kingdom of God, all of these other things will be added to us. So I am definitely going to start there.

In other news, Rebecca's bedroom got a make over and it looks awesome!! I could not be more pleased with how it turned out. I also finally decorated my half bathroom and will be excited to show it off at holiday time. My mom came to town and she helped me with both since she has an amazing gift for decorating and I do not. She also blessed me by purchasing the items for the bathroom. It looks really great. Plus I think I learned a few things while we shopped and am anxious to try out my new skills in another room! The upstairs hallway has also been painted. Goodbye ugly walls!! Now for the foyer to be done. I'm a little terrified of getting up on scaffolding, but I think I am just way to cheap to pay someone hundreds of dollars to do it. We shall see how that works out.

Well, I guess I will close here. I won't be able to keep those A's if I don't put in the hours of studying. So off I go...I have 7 more muscles of the face to learn tonight!

Glasses

I guess it wasn't enough that I found a gray hair a few weeks back, but now I need reading glasses too! The gray hair didn't last long, I promptly called Chrissy and we dyed it the very next day. She helped me pick out a stellar color that as long as they keep making it, I will use it!

Fast forward a few weeks and several headaches later, I finally went to the eye doctor. I thought the headaches were from stress, but it turns out I needed some reading glasses. The doctor actually said I have a very mild distance sight problem and suggested BIFOCALS...I just looked at him and he must have understood because I got a 3 minute explanation about how lots of people between 35 and 40 are needing bifocals now a days. He ended the education with saying I only needed it if it bothered me because the script is so slight. I am sorry to admit, I am way too vain for that nonsense...bifocals....good grief, what the heck is going to happen at 40??

So here I sit with my ever so cute reading glasses thankful that I only need them when I read. I guess if I am just going to study all of the time I should look the part..glasses and all!

Just Like Fish

I was cleaning the fish bowl today. No, they aren't my fish and yet I get this joy...I am blessed. Anyway, I put the fish in a much smaller bowl and they seemed really happy just swimming around in there. In the mean time, I cleaned their much bigger and better bowl and put pretty rocks in there. As I tried to get the fish in my little net to put them in the bigger, better bowl, God started to talk to me like He does when I am doing something very NOT spiritual. I got to thinking about how we think life is so grand in our "small fish bowl." We are swimming around doing our thing. And then one day something interrupts our normal and we do our best to fight it and avoid it and try to maintain status quo. What we don't realize, too many times, is that the interruption has the hand of God attached to it. Thankfully He is patient to chase us around the bowl and try different things to get us in the net, just so He can bless us with something so much better than we currently have. I am not sure what my fish thought once they arrived in their clean, bigger home, but I know more times than not, when I finally get in God's net I am blown away by His plan.

School for me is one of His nets. I know it is where He has me and I sure did fight it for a while. But now that I am there, I am seeing Him working in me in ways I never thought possible. He is showing me more and more about how He made me and the potential He has placed inside of me for my place in this world. As I embrace and step out of my comfort zone I see more and more the impact He has on people through me and I am blown away. I am excited to continue and see what else is in this "bowl" that I am in for now and maybe, just maybe, next time I won't resist because the new place is really, really cool!

Happy/Sad

Remember the snake from the other day? Well I must say I am pleased to know where he currently resides. You see my friend Chrissy was over and the kids were playing in the pool, again, and I saw my friend the blue jay up  by the tree in the back yard. He was doing this weird dancing around thing and then I saw it...this rope like thing strike up into the air toward Blue. Well, that snake messed with the wrong bird! It took about ten minutes but eventually the bird proclaimed victory over the snake near the shed. Slither got pecked to death by Blue and that is kind of sad. The happy part is that I officially know where the snake is as Blue dragged him behind the shed and probably had a feast on the biggest "worm" he has EVER seen!! I was waiting for the crow bullies to show up and steal it, but alas they did not. I can safely walk in the grass again without wondering where I might encounter Slither! Whew. I do, however, feel bad about HOW he died, but if I do what my pastor says and tell 100% truth...I'm so glad he's gone!!

Random Things From the Week

Here comes another storm. They have been rolling in every couple of days or so. I love them because they keep the weather at a beautiful temperature, but they make my pool dirty!

 This is our pool. It serves the purpose of keeping the kids occupied and cool, but it keeps getting filled with stuff flying in the air from the above mentioned storms! That was bugging me until today when we traded storm debris for a snake...

Yes he freaked me out for a second. But then I got the camera, when he kind of coiled back and stared at me head on, I decided I was too close and backed up a bit and got this shot. He has maybe another inch or so of tail. I will not be going in the grass for the rest of the day because I don't know where he went!

My birthday was this week and I was so excited to get my first helmet! Ron and I have gone on a few rides together and I am HOOKED!! I see many summer dates exploring back roads on his bike. We are even busy planning a day trip if our rear ends can handle four hours on the motorcycle!!

This gift was from Reagan! Ryan got me a book and Rebecca got me some pretty pj's. I am really blessed with some thoughtful kids that know my taste so well!!

These beautiful flowers were also part of birth week. I wish I could add a smell function because these roses are so fragrant!! I just LOVE the color!!

Here is our garden this year. We have tried to grow stuff every year and it looks like we might finally be successful!! These are two different types of tomato plants and I am so excited how they are thriving. I grew these from seeds started inside!

Ron built me raised beds and then made these super cool covers with PVC pipe and netting. Keeping all of the wildlife out has brought our blueberry bush back to life and is giving our plants a chance to grow. Thanks to all of the storms I haven't had to water them much!!

I was excited about these cucumber plants because I grew them from seed, they flowered and then I had to plant them in the ground. However, they started to die. I am please to see that not only have they come back to life, they are flowering again...who knew plants could be so exciting??

That is our week so far. The kids got out of school today and already spent and hour in their rooms. Not a great start but I think they will get the hang of it!! Well it's pouring rain now and the crew is hungry so I must go...kind of wish I had a plan for dinner!!!

You Will Be Saved

I was considering a passage of scripture the other day. I must confess I am too lazy at this moment to go find it and give the reference, but it is popular enough that you will know it's in there if you read the Bible at all. The verse says something to the effect that those who call on the name of Jesus will be saved. For countless years I have kept that phrase in one tiny,little, box of meaning. That it only meant to be saved from hell. However, the other day I believe that God really opened my mind to what He really meant.

It was one of those mornings and at 8:15AM I was already stressed out. Taking the advice of a good friend, I closed my eyes and inhaled and exhaled the name of Jesus. The first syllable on the way in and the last on the exhale out. After about 3 breaths I could feel fresh grace pour over me and I went about my day brand new.

What I had done was call on the name of Jesus and I was...saved. Saved from frustration, saved from a pity party, saved from anger and saved from doing something I would have to ask for forgiveness from later. How small minded of me to think that calling on Jesus would only save me from the number one issue of hell. I can imagine Jesus standing there waiting and waiting, hoping that we will take Him at His word and call on Him so he can save us from all the things that this world throws at us.

I encourage you that the next time you are anything but full of joy and peace, call on the name of Jesus and allow Him to do what He promised...to save you from whatever you face. He is good, He is faithful and He is quick!! This is one promise I will not let go to waste!!

O Christmas Tree

My Christmas tree has been up for quite some time now. I am just now taking it down. As I was doing so, I starting to think about all the wonder and magic that is present when we put it up as a family and what a chore it is as I take it down alone. A month and a half ago I looked at each ornament and recalled memories. Today I see how many I can take off at one time without any of them breaking. I also started to notice a few...like the angel made out of toilet paper...huh...really? LOL That always brings me to the thoughts of my ever growing children. Like when Reagan declared she only had six years of school left and the ache that promptly starts to form in my chest. I tried to imagine what my tree will look like when everyone is grown and gone. Will it be one that matches and has beautiful decorations all symmetrically placed? I think of how beautiful yet boring that tree would be.

I can hardly believe this Christmas season has come and gone and here we are starting another year. I feel like it went passed me in a blur and didn't even really "feel" like Christmas. So now as I take down this tree, instead of a chore to be done, I am taking the time to remember the past year and all of its great memories. The ways my family has grown and the individuals in it. I am thankful that at this stage I "get it." Time goes fast and that is helping me really treasure each moment instead of racing from one thing to the next. Yes we are busy, but even in the activity there are moments and like Mary did in the Bible, I hope that I too will tuck these things away in my heart and remember them always.

I am blessed beyond measure and yet I look forward to this next year with excitement at all God has in store for us. Some things we have gotten a glimpse of and after I put the fear aside I can say I am truly excited. There are other things that haven't been discovered yet, adventures planned, and moments to tuck away. If I have one resolution it is this: to get all I can out of each moment and each day that God gives me. To live in the present and really live this precious life...