The Sound of Silence

I have been enjoying the remake of Simon and Garfunkle's song "The Sound of Silence." For some reason that song ran through my head as I make dinner and my house is the polar opposite of that concept. Some might think I long for the sounds of silence but the fact of the matter is that I love the noise. As I hear the crinkle of the aluminum foil, I am aware that a healthy dinner is headed our way. I can hear Reagan's occasional burst of laughter from the living room as she reads something funny. Rebecca's trumpet blares the beautiful notes of a C scale as she prepares to practice. The rather loud drumming of the snare as Ryan works to perfect his lesson for the week. These are the sounds that make my soul happy. Sounds that I know, all too soon, will be gone and an element of  silence will fill my home. The sounds of laughter, bickering, conversations and stories told are the best parts of my day.

Quickly I realize, however, these sounds are not all I look forward too each day. As I sit here taking it all in, I am just waiting for my best friend to walk through the door. To hear about his day and share with him mine. Although I know as the kids grow and move on to their adult lives, my home will still be filled with laughter, playful bickering, conversations and stories told because I get to be married to my best friend. I am overwhelmed with how blessed my life is!

Lent Day 3-4

I made a grave mistake yesterday...I had sugar free gum. This decision came from a desire to have something sweet so I thought, hmmm, I will just have a piece of sugar free gum and that will curb my craving. Not only did it NOT curb the craving it has made it worse by about 10 fold. I am still eating fruit and bread and stuff so this constant nagging is not out of a need for carbohydrates, but simply an annoying indulgence that has been fed for far too long. I did however, put a small bag of conversation hearts in my cupboard for Easter Sunday...the day when I will be expecting a basket of candy from my family this year!! haha Unless by some miracle I feel so good by then I don't want it. I can not fathom that right now.

In other news, I took my first Anatomy 2 lab test last night. I found it quite easy, as the instructor said we should. Today I must cram for my medical terminology test. I do believe at the end of the semester and before my program starts I will be going back over this massive amount of vocabulary. It's like its own language. It has been fun between the med term and the a&p class to be able to not only spell, but know the meaning of words like cholycystokinin-pancreozymin! Makes me feel smart!!

Well, it would sure me a shame for me to fail my test because I am stalling on the study!! Hopefully to day, Lent day 4, will show some relief for the sugar desire. I think I may just let my kids eat every piece of Valentine's Day candy just so I don't have to keep looking at it!! Thank goodness there is no Dove chocolate laying around...a girl can only take so much. And yes, I am still thinking about yummy, smooth, delicious Dove chocolate...

Lent - Day 2

So I woke up this morning with the headache that always follows me giving up sugar. However, I have discovered that two Excedrin will take away the pain! I don't consider myself that much of a caffeine drinker, but I think the lack of sugar AND caffeine must be a dual contributor to the headache. I cannot drink coffee at this time because my coffee is like dessert between the flavored creamer and the yummy sugar. Yes, I have tried sugar free creamer and have decided that I would rather not drink it at all. Too bad for me, I am terrified of diet chemical water, aka soda, and so that is out as well. So not only is the sugar gone, but I am having to drink more water. Perhaps a more healthy me is in store??

I have discovered two things in just two short days...I have never considered myself an emotional eater, but upon getting some challenging news yesterday all I wanted was a piece of chocolate. Huh?? That surprised me, that the one thing I would crave would be something sweet...the very definition of an emotional eater is one who turns to food to make them feel better. That's kind of a lot to take in with just one day under my belt. So being that I am doing this to see what God has for me during this time, I turned my attention to Him. I must say, that time satisfies in ways chocolate cannot and I don't even have to put sweatpants on to indulge in it!!

Secondly, I discovered, I eat when I am bored. Seriously?? I did not realize this either. After a few hours of study...I am not hungry, but in the kitchen wishing I could eat something sweet. When something sweet was not an acceptable choice I tried to think of something salty that would do the trick. As I paused to consider this, I realized that I am not hungry, just bored. However, instead of realizing this fact and jumping right back into the homework, I am here, writing this. There is more than one way to avoid homework!!

I am proud of myself though. This morning I made cinnamon rolls with frosting for the kids for a special Valentine's Day breakfast. Had fun heart covered plates covered with some chocolates and other special candies and although the aroma of the cinnamon rolls was almost more than I could take, I gave the little scrap of cinnamon roll to the dog as a Happy Valentine instead of listening to the voice that said it was a "special day" and it would be "OK" to have it.

So that is Lent day 2 or day 39 which ever way you want to count it. Some pretty big stuff to pay attention to, but I am excited to see what God is going to do as He turns my attention away from sugar and towards Himself...always a good thing!

Lent

It's that time of year again, the season of Lent. I have decided to go with the one thing that plagues me every year and finally be successful...Sugar. So for the next forty days sugar or sugary treats are not to pass my lips. So because I have made this decision all i have thought about all day long is chocolate!! I keep telling myself it's not as good as my mind is trying to tell me, but then my mind being ever so cleaver, reminded me of Dove chocolate. Smooth and tasty...ah well it will have to wait because this year I am going to overcome my addiction!!

I am going to do my best to not torture my family with my grumpy attitude as I begin to detox as I have discovered in the past is an unpleasant process. I figure I will journal on here as I go and hopefully there will be more gained from this than just me saying, "I did it!" So here we go...I am looking forward to crossing off day one!

In other news I took my first Anatomy and Physiology II test last night. I think I did well. It was pretty intense. I had a moment where I looked at the questions and was actually amazed that I understood what all of these huge words meant!! It's kind of exciting!! I have to wait allllll the way til next week for my grade...that is not great...I am dying to know now!! I have a lab test and a medical term test to finish out the week. Medical Terminology should be an interesting test because i haven't looked at the material yet....this is not good. Must go study...

Evening Alone

I found this in my drafts and thought I would share it...I think it is from september or october!


Some how last night all the planets alligend and for the first time in 13 years I was in my own home all alone. Ron and Ryan were camping with the cub scouts, two life saving friends each took one of the girls so I could go to school and decided to just have them stay the night. So I came home from school to an empty house and woke up to the same thing. What an amazing break! I am weirdly refreshed even though it was just a few hours. However, because I am me, I did some reflection.

Last night I walked through the house and saw a mess. Evidence that children live here and a crazy week had been accomplished. This morning as I get ready to pick up my kids (2 of them anyway) I stood in the upstairs hall, which gives me a small view into each bedroom. I am overwhelmed with thankfulness as I see the preteen room filled with items that suggest someone is growing up and starting to behave that way. In the other girl's bedroom, I see someone who is trying very hard to learn to juggle all the responsibilites of life including keeping her room up. Little piles of "treasures" here and there and all things important to a 9 year old. As I glanced into Ryan's room I see his bow an arrow set on the floor and a few super hero masks peaking out of the closet and I realize how quickly that phase will pass. Just looking at these things filled me with happiness though. Joy that my home is typically filled with laughter and even bickering filled me up, as I am blessed with the sounds of children in my home. God has certainly blessed my life and as I took inventory, I realize all too soon the halls and rooms will be perfectly clean and silent. The kids will grow and move on to their own lives and it will just be us. As wonderful as that phase of life will be with my best friend, I'm glad it's not here yet.

What is it about the night?

I studied for about 12 hours today, but I wanted to get this written before I forgot so hopefully it will turn out right.

Ron made a comment a few weeks back about how usually when someone talks about the night time it is in a negative way. Things are scary at night or in movies bad things happen in the dark. Usually our minds head right to the negative when it comes to anything about the night. However, he pointed out, there is one exception...the night Christ was born...Christmas night. When we hear that we think of the songs like "Silent Night" which has words like "holy, calm, and even bright" in it. When we think about that night we think about joy and anticipation. Quite a contrast from the other ideas about the night!

Well because I am me, I had to let that thought marinade in my head for a few days as it was surprising deep as my husband put it! As I pondered this thought, I began to realize that maybe there was a bigger meaning than just a star would shine brightest if Jesus was born at night. What if it was to show us that good things can happen in the night? That in the darkest times of our lives, if we will have the anticipation that Jesus is going to show up in our "night" and bring something new to us, maybe the night wouldn't be so bad. Maybe He wanted us to know that our perspective should not be one of dread when we walk through dark times, but of hope and excitement and anticipation of the promise that He gives that He will come to us in that place and never leave.

I read a portion of a bible verse today and it said something like..."He quiets me with His love." In this season of wrapping up a term in school, with Christmas right on its heels, it did me some good to rest a minute in His love and let my soul become quiet for even just a minute. In our "night" experiences God so wants to come and not only quiet us with His love, but to turn that night into something unforgettable, life changing and eternal! Much like He did on the night He was born!! Christmas is fast approaching, my hope is that we all stop and really remember why we celebrate for truly that night began the greatest love story ever written and I am so thankful to be apart of it!

I Have Never...

I Have Never...this was the name of the game I played today. Inside of a bag on folded sheets of paper were several items written. For an example, "I have never posted on facebook", the card might read. If you HAVE posted on facebook you take and M&M and if you have not, then you take nothing. The person at the end of the game with the most M&M's wins.

This got me thinking today. If I look back on my life and play this game, how big would my pile of M&M's be? I certainly want to make sure that I am doing enough things in life that when the end comes I have a whole pile of candy and litany of stories to share with my grandchildren and hopefully great-grandchildren about my adventures. I want to make sure that fear or the business of life doesn't always crowd out adventure and exploring this great world God has created.

Although I feel overwhelmed with school right now, I think this New Year's Eve I will be making plans for the next year's adventures. I want my kids to learn to live a life that is full of adventure, even if it is just in the backyard or across town. I know that if we don't plan for it, it will never happen.

I Have Never...will that be the end of the statement of your life, or will you also have a huge pile of M&M's and a great book of stories to share?